Since my mom is a chef I grew up spending a lot of time in various grocery and produce stores. It didn't take long before I was familiar with the layout of each store and my mom was able to send me out to find paprika or garlic or whatever it was that she needed. It only took until I was 15 for all of the creepers in these stores to notice my existence. It wasn't a constant thing, but I started to notice men staring at me sometimes. I thought I was imagining things, but one day a man in the produce store approached my mom. "Is that your daughter?" He indicated towards me and smiled. "Yes," my mom said. "That's my daughter." "She is very beautiful," he said and nodded in my direction. I suppose that if, maybe every once in a while, a friend wanted to tell me I was beautiful, that would be cool. Somehow though, when a complete stranger decides to tell my mom that he's attracted to me, I have an urge to immediately cover myself with a potato sack. Whenever things like this happen to me, I always question what I'm wearing. To my dismay, however, I am usually not in a dress or wearing any makeup at all. So naturally, wearing a potato sack is the first idea that comes to mind.
I guess that nothing like this had happened to me for a while, so I was feeling pretty safe, pretty invisible. I was driving by Goodwill and I decided to stop in to look at books. I just wanted to look at books. I had only been standing in the aisle for about 10 seconds when the man next to me started talking to me. He wasn't saying anything rude, so I talked to him a little bit, hoping that the conversation would soon be cut short. I would give quick replies and turn away from him, angling myself so that I was facing the books so as to cut off the conversation. He kept talking, however, and proceeded to tell me everything about his family that I never wanted to know. I continued to smile, because I could only think of one escape response. "Hi...I, uh, I have to go ignore you now." I didn't think that I could say this, so I stared at the books while continuing the awkward small talk. Apparently he must have thought we really bonded over our shared preference for warmer weather, so he asked me for my number. All I could think was, is this really happening right now? "Um...no. No, I don't really give out my number to strangers." He said that he understood, but then he proceeded to ask me out on a date. I stood for a second and waited for something intelligent to come to mind, but instead I continued to stutter."Uh. I, uh...No!! Uh, no." He continued to ask me, even saying please over and over. I told him that I really didn't know him at all and wouldn't feel comfortable giving him my number, which is when he told me the location of each of his family members. I'm not entirely sure why he thought this would help. Was he expecting this to change my mind? "Hold up. Your uncle lives in New York? This changes everything." I said 'no' once again. He then told me that he wanted to be "more than friends." "But, we're not friends," I was quick to point out. In the middle of Goodwill, for crying out loud. I told him that I would say "hi" if I ever saw him again and fled the store.
He looked hopeful at this, so I'm pretty sure that I said the wrong things. I just wasn't sure how to get out of it without literally running away. It's not as though the situation seemed drastic enough for me start yelling or to use pepper spray or something. I didn't have pepper spray with me and I also wondered if I could get into trouble for spraying someone just because he asked me for my number. Is that allowed? If it is, it certainly seems drastic. Could I get reported for something like that?
Officer: "So...tell me what happened."
Me: "Well, he started telling me about his dad and I was like whoa! T.M.I., man!"
I don't really know, but all of this only serves to confirm my fear that I attract only creepers.
PS-If my mom or any of my mom's friends are reading this-do not fear! Although I am hoping that there will not be a next time where I am bothered by such a creepster, I have thoughts of alternative plans of action.
Alternative plan #1: Next time I will be sure to cause an upheaval and bolt out of the building at the first hello, shoving everything in sight out of my way. I think I'd yell 'fire' on the way out. Oh, wait, except I think that's illegal.
Alternative plan #2: I will bring a real or else imagined boyfriend with me and keep him close in all public places, sort of like a bodyguard. Of course, this would mean that I would have to bribe a friend or else become a social butterfly immediately so as to persuade someone. There's also the fact that I don't really want anyone to follow me around in public 24/7, which brings me to my final plan.
Alternative plan #3: I will obtain and save a number from the next creeper and give it out whenever any other creepers decide to ask for my number. This way, they can creep on each other.
Haha. I loved reading this, Naomi (though I felt bad for you)! "Hold up. Your uncle lives in New York? This changes everything." I think my fave alternative plan is #3: "This way, they can creep on each other." great strategy! (this is Danika, btw... lest you fear that someone else is creepin'.)
ReplyDeleteAh, creepers. I resonated deeply with this post. What you described sounded like a genuine oddball. I can't believe he thought telling you where his family members live would change your mind. Didn't he know he should have gone with their occupations instead?
ReplyDeleteI also enjoyed alternative #3. That is genius. Seriously, it's beautiful. You are awesome for thinking of that.
I used to have issues because I would actually give my number to creepers, unable to think of a reason not to, but recent ideas have been:
1) Just take their number (and either get rid of it or give it to the next one) without giving yours, with the tacit implication, "if I'm interested, I will call you,"
2) When they persist in asking for my number, I just say, "I don't give that out." It's not a lie, it's just incomplete. The implied second half is, "when I don't want to."
3) One I am most proud of, start to share the gospel. They would have to know it anyway if they want things to go anywhere, and if they are really put off by what I am saying, they can feel free to walk away, as that's what I'd prefer. Also I often feel annoying sharing the gospel because it seems socially inappropriate, but the creepers have already breached that boundary, so I can just go for it.
I tried these strategies on the metro in Paris a few weeks ago, and it wasn't perfect but I certainly haven't gotten calls from the guy, and I learned of a Muslim who really thinks his religion is basically the same as Christianity, and that they think Jesus is the son of God. Um, nice try, man, not as far as anything I've ever heard from anyone besides you.
I really like the labels you chose for this post as well.
Okay I think that comment is long enough now.
Also I thought of something else: maybe the grocery store creepers approached your mom *because* you were 15. Don't you think it would have been worse if they came up to you? Maybe they meant it the way you tell any parent that their kid is cute. At least they were respectable creepers that knew better than to approach a teenager and tell her she was pretty.
ReplyDeleteAlas, I think most women can resonate with my complaints about creepers.
ReplyDeleteI really like your third strategy, Karin! I'm going to keep that in mind (:
And yes, I'm (sort of) glad that that man approached my mom. lol